Part 47 The Old New Reality
The sun was shining almost as bright as Gia’s smile making her whole being radiate happiness that was almost impossible to break. Even when the kids were misbehaving, Gia didn’t mind, in fact she joined them in their tickling games full of laughter. Nothing in the world had the power to bring her down, not even her despotic father, no matter how much venom he threw at her, he could not hurt her this time. These days he had no power over Gia, which made him angrier as the days went by, but Gia didn’t care because none of that mattered.
It was like she could do anything, even the most meaningless tasks around the house she did with joy and a song on her lips. Everything was an escape into the place of happiness. In the physical realm she might have been mopping the floors or washing the dishes, but in the real life she was with Lokie.
They were gazing into each others eyes just like all those years ago, it was exactly the same and it was so different. Two timelines colliding, two realities were finally merging into one. Real and unreal worlds were blending seamlessly until there were no more boundaries left. It was Gia’s old new reality.
There – they finally talked through all that happened, now full of wisdom of years that passed, glancing back with new understanding, they were amazed how obvious everything looked from this side of time. Gone was the blindness and confusion, now they knew…
Gia could finally relax having the knowledge that Lokie would be at the reunion, and she let herself enjoy the closeness and understanding that was now between them, they spend hours just looking at each other, lightly touching their fingers and cheeks, as if to make sure that it was real and just because they finally could…
Of course, she worried a little about his transport, what if his car broke down again like last time? He said, he would have to make a better plan getting there next time, so perhaps he would take a train. Gia would feel happier knowing that, even just to eliminate any possible unforeseen circumstances!
24th of May 2011
That’s great! I thought that you got lost somewhere, and I didn’t check my mail for a few days. Peter is definitely coming too, but you can remind him, if you like, I’ll send you his number. We might change the venue later, if we don’t like Andy’s, Peter always complains about the places we choose, we will see. Leni said you want to meet earlier, we can meet there at 6pm, we do not mind…How are you getting to here? I hope not the same car as last time!
See you there, G.
The neighbor’s rooster started his morning song much to Gia’s annoyance, she wasn’t a morning person, besides he was ruining her dream with Lokie. But wait! What day was it? She immediately opened her eyes, traces of sleep thrown away in an instant. It was Saturday the 28th of May, and Gia was the happiest person in the world, she would finally see Lokie – today! The sunrise was seeping through the curtains illuminating the room in a soft pale yellow glow. It was so beautiful. Gia almost never gets to see it, what a shame, but today she would enjoy it.
She looked at her two sleeping angles, blankets kicked off, their tiny limbs thrown akimbo, they looked so innocent, peaceful and beautiful, a wave of love for them washed over Gia. She got up, picking up her dressing gown and tiptoed out of the room. The house was still and quiet, it was far too early for anyone to be up, even Honey, her parents’ yellow labrador, wagged her tail still bound by sleep and rolled over to sleep some more.
Gia made a fresh pot of coffee and walked out on the terrace into the garden. It was still slightly chilly, and Gia sat down pulling a blanket over her shoulders. The garden was waking up, the birds chirping as they went about their morning ritual. The morning dew on the many plants, and the immaculate lawn glistened in the low sun rays like precious stones.
Gia had to admit that her father did an amazing job with the garden it was his pride and joy. It looked absolutely beautiful, and just for a moment it pained her, that he was unwilling or unable to give the same care and love to Gia. She quickly shunned those thoughts away, today was not the day to dwell on such things! Lokie’s face popped up before her eyes, and she immediately forgot the pain of moments ago.
She would not daydream today, she decided, she had to snap out of the dreamlike state, she allowed herself to be in for the past four days, because this was it – the day of truth, today she would put her life in order once and for all.
But it was very difficult to do, whenever she was trying to decide what to wear, her mind would turn to Lokie, would he like that? In the shower she washed and waxed then painted her nails, all the while thinking whether Lokie would approve. She wanted to look her absolute best, yes for Lokie, and it was also one of the few things she had some sort of control over. She imagined how he would look at her in admiration-.
“Gia, stop! You will be a complete wreck by the time you get there!” the remnants of her rational voice pleaded.
“I know, I know! I am trying, believe me, but everything I do is connected to Lokie, somehow, I can’t help it! It is driving me crazy!”
She tried hard to distract herself with the kids, they demanded her full attention and it worked for a little while, but as the clock ticked away, Gia was overcome by horrible nervousness. She literally felt sick with nerves, she could not eat anything for fear of throwing up. Did Lokie feel like that too? It was sickening. At that point Gia was not sure how she would even make it there. She was so angry at her body for putting her through this, but she knew she had to go, she didn’t know how yet, but she would. Luckily, Gia made plans to meet Anna first, so she wouldn’t have to walk in there alone, because that would probably never happen.
At last she was ready, a nervous wreck, but ready. She was absolutely petrified, petrified of her body betraying her, for trowing up or fainting, or otherwise embarrassing herself in front of Lokie and ruining everything. She was supposed to just turn up and act like there was nothing going on. As if she was just meeting her classmates for an evening out, to reminisce and laugh and to have a good time with them. And then if an opportunity presented itself – depending on Lokie, striking up a conversation and having that long overdue talk with him. That was it! Gia would know straight away where she stood with him, and hopefully she’d get her illusions shattered even without him knowing.
But now it seemed like an absolutely impossible task, just getting there and walking into that pub would be the hardest thing Gia ever had to do in her entire life. Because there was a possibility that she would have to embarrass herself beyond belief to get rid of this curse called limerence. There was a chance that she would have to open up and tell him the unthinkable. Just the thought of it caused another wave of nausea sweeping over Gia. How on Earth was she going to do this?!
The public transport in Prague is excellent and she didn’t have to wait for a bus or metro longer than a few minutes at a time. Shut in a box of a metal carriage, she couldn’t help but feel like a farm animal going to a slaughter, and there was nothing she could do about it…
It was not long before she embraced Anna at their usual meeting spot on the bench at Florenc underground station.
“Hey, Anna!” Gia couldn’t stop smiling at her friend.
“Hi Gia, wow, look at you! You look so fit and beautiful!”
“Thanks, so do you!” replied Gia and hoped that Lokie would think so too. Damn, why did Lokie had to do that inserting himself in Gia’s head at every opportunity?
“So what are we doing, we still have two hours to go?”
“I know this lovely little place, it is not far from Andy’s, and they have good beer and the tastiest pickled Hermelin cheese.” said Anna.
“Great idea!” said Gia and suddenly felt the pangs of hunger in her belly.
Over the next few hours the girls chatted about everything that happened since they last saw each other, and it was like they were never apart. It was much welcomed distraction to Gia’s constantly wandering mind. The alcohol seemed to take the edge off too, and when the Hermelin landed on their table Gia realized how starving she was. At last she was able to enjoy her food, which was just as well, she didn’t want to get absolutely plastered before even getting there. That would be a disaster!
A kind of an ironic disaster, because back in the day Gia did drink a bit too much sometimes, it helped her to get rid of the shyness. Many times it helped her to loose her inhibitions and to talk to Lokie, but she also knew that he did not like that. And she so wanted for him to see her new self and her real self because she knew he would like her. Gia lost herself in thought for a moment, but she couldn’t fool Anna, she knew her too well.
“What’s up, Gia? You seem a bit jumpy.” she asked her with concern written all over her face.
“You will probably laugh at me, but I am scared shitless to see Lokie again.”
“Ah, Lokie, the one that got away…”
“Something like that…Well, you know how weird it was between us.-”
“Weird, doesn’t even cut it, Gia!” Anna said.
“Yeah, well I do not want to get together with him, or anything; it’s hard to explain, but I am hoping that we can finally talk, and I can find out what it was all about, because it has been bugging me almost my entire life.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean, you two have unfinished business, it’s only natural you want to deal with it.”
“Thanks, I am so happy you understand, you know at times I think I am crazy to still be affected by something that happened all those years ago. And I do not want to ruin it, what if he won’t talk to me?”
“Don’t worry about that Gia, he will want to talk to you for sure, look at you, you are a knock out! I bet he will stare at you even more now, since you ditched the goth wardrobe.” Anna laughed putting Gia at ease somewhat.
“Yeah, I think so too, but I am worried that it will be the same as before, you know we will stare at each other and we won’t be able to communicate, or worse say or do the wrong thing like always.”
“Honestly, Gia, do not worry, all you have to do, is just go there, and smile and let things happen, besides you have both changed, you are not the young immature kids you once were. Believe me Lokie is a guy and he will now know what to do.”
“I so hope, that you are right, Anna!” said Gia and took a sip of her lager.
“Of course, I am!” Anna smiled again at her friend and squeezed her arm reassuringly.
“You will know soon enough,” she glanced at her watch, “we should go, it’s almost six.”
In her alternate inner world Gia braced herself on a high diving board, she was so scared she could hardly breathe, but she knew, she absolutely had to do this…Right, here we go, it’s now or never. She closed her eyes and jumped…
Original writing and photo © Gia Joseph and Giasuniverse, 2015