Part 34 Where Are You?
The old desire to solve the Lokie mystery was back. A nagging feeling, the familiar inner urge to heal the old wound was growing stronger. Gia sensed a possibility, a big probability, that it could happen, and just the thought of it caused currents of excitement wash over her. The only obstacle was not knowing his whereabouts, and a tiny worry, a fear, that he was gone, dead. Gia didn’t know why she worried about that. It was just a feeling, a fear deep inside of her.
Gia tried to google Lokie’s name every now and again, not really expecting to find him this way anyway, but she had no clue where to start looking. As expected, this was going nowhere, and after some time the urgency wore off, and life settled once more.
Despite everything, Gia was absolutely convinced, that Drew was the person for her, to spend the rest of the life with. He was the one she loved, and he loved her. It was Drew, that was always there for her, whenever happy or sad, she felt safe and loved.
Not long after the wedding, Drew left for his exhibition tour. It was autumn, grey, wet, short days, and Gia’s emotions matched what was outside. A deep melancholy that soon spiraled into despair, hopelessness and incredible sadness. There was no reason for it at all, she should have been happy, she just got married to the most amazing guy. But instead of happiness, her head and heart were full of death, decay, and thoughts like what is the point of anything? She couldn’t sleep or eat, all she did was cry and walk around on autopilot. She felt such grief, not understanding why, avoiding friends, spending her evenings in darkness, alone she tried drinking shots to numb the pain. She forced her body to get up each morning to go to work, and a few weeks later she started a new art course. Not long after that Jane, the religious girl from her old art school, arrived and enrolled in the same course.
Gia got very busy helping Jane settle, and she was glad for the company, because Drew was away for months at a time. Spending time with Jane, and doing art again somehow pulled her out of the darkness, that was surrounding her. However it also brought many memories of the past. Gia was playing with fire but ignored her rational brain’s reasoning to stop. She wouldn’t and could’t stop until she found Lokie.
One evening over a glass of wine, Gia and Jane thought of organizing a reunion for the next summer, it would be ten years since graduation, a good opportunity to catch up with everybody, and a perfect opportunity for Gia to finally see Lokie.
Back home Leni and Anna were helping them to locate all the missing classmates, and it was proving to be a challenge, because they have lost contact with most of the boys. It took months to hear back from the girls with any news. And another month for Gia to find the only link to Lokie she had and relied on. An old scrap paper with Peter’s contact details. She spent weeks frantically searching through her old journals, books and eventually everywhere, until she finally found it in an old book. She was so relieved! And surely Peter would know where Lokie is!
Gia instructed Leni to call him and find out, because if there was one thing Gia didn’t like doing, it was calling people on the phone, not being able to see who is on the other side, not being able to read the body language of a person put her in unease.
Luckily Leni didn’t have such problem, and managed to speak with Peter. He was just as excited about the reunion, as the girls were, but he didn’t keep in touch with anybody else, not even Lokie, but he had a strange and crucial information about him. As it turned out, Lokie changed his surname. What?! That is so typical, the ever so mysterious Lokie!
Gia began searching again immediately with the new surname. So full of hope and excitement, she just knew, that she was getting closer! But she got disappointed pretty fast, because Lokie shared a name with a well known sports man, and most of the search results were about him, and not about Lokie! For many weeks she searched over and over again. One day, she typed his name into Google images, gone was the excitement and anticipation, it became a routine by now. As usual she got a gazillion pictures of the sports dude in action, and she almost navigated away, when a last thumbnail caught her attention.
The smiling person in the image vaguely resembled Lokie, and after she clicked on the image, her heart started pounding at the recognition. Gia was staring in awe and disbelief at Loki’s smiling face in the picture, she was taking in his dark curly hair, cut short in a simple hairstyle, the prominent dark eyebrows, and those intense brown eyes, that she knew so well. It was definitely Lokie! And right next to his photo, there were his contact details.
Photo and writing Copyright 2015 Gia.