Archive | December 2014

Part 25 Mind Drift Tree


29th May 1994

Sitting here on a big stone in my favorite spot in the woods near grandma’s house. River of thoughts floating through my mind like the clouds in summer sky. My life so far, C., Lokie…

C. is weird, he is behaving like a little kid. We only see each other at school during our breaks, or at gigs, and I am kind of over it by now. That’s why I’ve gone to grandma’s, to get away from it all. We went to a gig on Friday with Silvi, and it was quite fun, after such a long time.

The stone I am sitting on is under a giant tree. My tree. Offering me shade, seclusion, privacy, but at the same time I am able to see the beautiful countryside all around me. No people. Warm wind on my cheeks. Birdsong in my ears. This is MY special place, nobody else comes here. Just me. When I want to paint, or when I argue with my folks. This is the place I go to and I write, where I run away from people, when I do not want to talk to anybody, and it is mainly here that I write my crazy poems. I love this place and not just this one spot, the whole area where my grandma lives. Read More…


Part 24 Puzzled Paradox

VLUU L310W L313 M310W / Samsung L310W L313 M310W

December 1993

Revising, revising, revising. January exams taking my mind off Lokie. Relief at last. Mixed feelings about M. Forcing myself to care. Daydreaming about Lokie. Forbiding myself to daydream about Lokie. Stolen money at home. Automatic blame put on me.┬áMum upset, F. ballistic. Lokie’s sporadic school attendance. Bro took the money, no apology to me. Short, dark days. Christmas approaching. Snowing. Festive atmosphere everywhere, but it’s happening without me. Making plans for New Years Eve. I don’t really care.

Peter borrowed my notes. Wondering if he showed it to Lokie, had some killer drawings in and M.’s name all over. Perhaps Lokie will DO something! Read More…