Part 15 Insult or Compliment?
6th June 1993
I spent the weekend at Grandma’s. It was good to change the scenery, but I still couldn’t get you out of my head, Lokie. M. was there, he was all over me, but this time, I wanted no part of it. He was confused, and didn’t understand the change in me. In the end, he told me, he loved me. WHAT?! I didn’t think, it was THAT kind of relationship.
Anyway, all I was thinking about, was you, Lokie, and how I wished, you were there. I can truly see us talking and having a good time. When I am there, everything seems so simple. I guess, I feel so comfortable in my own environment, where I can be myself.
I wish, you could see that, Lokie, because in the class it’s different, I am definitely not myself. I am all shy, and restrained, when I am around you. Hey! Maybe I can ask you to come with me! Yes, great idea!
The next day right after school, Gia asked one of Ozz’s friend to call Lokie out of the classroom. “Maybe he won’t come.” thought Gia, heart pounding. She walked back and forth, then sat down and fiddled with her neckless. Luckily that part of the building was deserted, that is why she chose to call Lokie there, away from everyone. It didn’t take long however for Gia to hear footsteps coming closer. More than one person.
Gia quickly took a book out of her bag, and pretended to read it, just as Lokie walked from around the corner.
“What’s up?” he asked reluctantly.
She looked up slowly. “Hey, Lokie.”
She hesitated, Kai was now leaning against the wall looking at Gia and Luke. She gave him a look, to make him disappear, but he just turned around, and pretended to look for something in his bag. “Damn!” she thought.
“How is it going?” she asked.
“Alright, is there anything you wanted?”
“Um, yeah, I was wondering, if you maybe, wanted to go to a gig at my Grandma’s town?”
“What for?” he asked, his tone of voice didn’t sound friendly at all.
“I don’t know, we could-”
“Get drunk? What would I do there?!”
Gia was totally surprised by his reaction. “Um, no I thought…, never mind, just forget it, okay?”
Well that was a disaster! Gia felt so humiliated, and embarrassed. What was she thinking?! She will never, EVER, come to him again!
7th June 1993
Why Lokie? I feel like such an idiot! You don’t want to hang out I get it, but why do you keep staring at me? Maybe you didn’t feel comfortable in front of Kai, or maybe your parents wouldn’t even let you go. Yeah, probably, I haven’t thought of that! What a damn idea that was! That’s it, I forbid myself to think about you, at least for now, because I have to revise for my exams. Revise, revise, revise…
You are probably revising too, so we are doing the same thing at the moment. I hope we both pass! Okay now, that’s it! No more thinking of you until I learn all my exam questions!
8th June 1993
It was a beautiful sunny day, and Gia just passed her philosophy exam. She felt relieved, and happy it was over. Anna and the others had different time slots, and there was nobody around that she knew, so she set off for home. She walked slowly to the bus stop, put the music on, sun and light breeze on her face. She felt good and smiled to herself, even though she missed her bus. Nothing could spoil her mood today. She passed an empty bench at the bus stop, and climbed on the railing, her favourite place to sit.
She was relaxed, and in a happy carefree mood, when something made her turn around. “Oh, great!” Lokie was just walking towards her. “What is he doing here?” Gia had no idea, that he was doing his exams today. All she wished now, was to disappear, she didn’t want to talk to him after yesterday’s fiasco! But there was nowhere to hide, leaving now would be too obvious, so she just sat there. He walked right up to her.
“Hey Gianka, you finished your exams?”
“How did it go?”
“Distinction, of course! And you?”
“Same.” he smiled.
Gia noticed he was checking her out. “What?” she gave him a look.
“You look alright today, um, apart from the head.”
“You cheeky, sod!” Gia couldn’t believe it! Was that meant to be a compliment, or an insult? She honestly didn’t get this guy, he was so confusing.
Gia’s image was not convectional, everywhere she went people stared at her. Her hair was very short on the sides, long jet black and red fringe falling into her face, contrasting with her pale eyes. She usually wore a black T-shirt with a metal band logo, black leggings or worn out jeans, tie dye jumper, and heavy boots. She felt like a change today, and put on a light green top, that mom bought her and a nice pair of shorts.
“Let’s go, the bus is here.” said Lokie, and smiled at exasperated Gia.
They sat together, and talked about the exams and music, and before they knew it, they were at Lokie’s stop.
“Well, bye, Lokie!” said Gia.
“Come with me?” replied Luke.
“Um, okay.” said Gia, a little surprised.
They sat on a bench, and waited for Lokie’s coach. Gia knew, he lived in a small town about twenty minutes away from the city.
Lokie seemed very interested in Gia’s notebook she carried, it was covered in stickers of her favourite bands. She made the stickers herself out of pictures she found in magazines, and she was quite proud of her creation. Lokie studied the stickers, and asked about each of them, questioned Gia, why she liked them, or what album was her favourite.
Then he proceeded to examine her hands.
“Thanks!” she smiled.
He touched the one on her middle finger. A simple gold band shaped in a swirl.
“Who gave you this one?”
He smiled, and continued. “And this one?” he touched the tiger’s eye gemstone ring on her ring finger.
“That one is…” she paused, looked directly into his eyes, and held his gaze. She enjoyed a moment of power. He looked a little unsure now, and seemed desperate to know the answer.
“Come on Gianka, who gave you this ring?”
Gia decided to put him out of his misery. “That one is from my mum.” she smiled, and Lokie gave her a what seemed like a relieved, and super happy smile.
“Your coach is here, Lokie.” Gia broke the spell.
“Um, do you want to come with me Gianka?”
“What? To your town?”
“What for? What would I do there, huh?” Gianka used Luke’s words in reply.
All of a sudden he looked serious.
“Bye Lokie.” Gia got up quickly, and hurried away. She knew Lokie was staring, she could feel it, but she didn’t turn around.
Photo by Gia.