Part 5 The trip
Gia slammed the journal shut almost violently and threw it on the floor. She pulled her knees toward her chest and hugged them tight, her heart beating so hard, it almost jumped out of her chest. Whoah, her body was reacting in the exact same way now as it did years ago. But Luke isn’t even here…
A million thoughts went through her head all at once. No, that was not possible! She was going mad! Why was she still feeling this way? Did she still love him? Was this love anyway?
Gia wished that she was strong enough not to read her old, cursed journal, but she could not help herself. It was too late, she couldn’t stop. Confused, lost and out of control again, she hated herself…
21st May 1993
Why did I give in to locking eyes with you? I don’t understand why I am not strong enough to resist this game, resist you…I can’t help it, I look up and get sucked into your eyes and I am lost, like a junkie getting his fix, I am unable to resist.
I am so damn shy though, why I can’t I just talk to you like to everybody else, like to the other boys in the class. I am normally quite loud and funny, but you haven’t got a chance to see the real me, because in your presence, I am paralysed.
Both classes were going away the following Monday, the students would be working outside, sketching a landscape or studying the architecture of historical buildings, it was part of the curriculum, and Gia was excited about that, and mostly about being there with Luke. What would it be like? Would they get to finally talk to each other or just continue to gaze into one another’s eyes?
24th May 1993
Everybody met at a central coach station early in the morning. It was a beautiful almost summery day, and Gia quickly scanned the crowd for Luke. She couldn’t help it, it became a habit by now. She always had to know where he was and what he was doing. They gazed at each other a few times and Gia got her fix.
Soon they arrived in a small town, set in a picturesque landscape. They were accommodated in a beautiful historical building, about five minute walk away form the town centre.
Anna promised another girl to share a room with her, so Gia got a room with Jane, a quiet religious girl. Luke and Peter’s room was right next to theirs. Gia was over the moon! She couldn’t stop thinking about Luke, and how they would possibly get to talk, and spend some time together.
When they unpacked, the students had a meeting in the town centre with their teachers to explore the surroundings and to learn the program for the next five days. There was a breathtaking castle complex and a Gothic minster with amazing diamond vault. Overall the town had an inviting and pleasant feel to it.
It was still too early to go to the meeting, so Gia and her friends were passing time in a local coffee shop in the town square, sitting outside around small little tables drinking lemonade, and joking around and they lost track of time. When they arrived to the castle grounds for the meeting, almost everyone was already gone. Gia was so disappointed, that she didn’t get to see Luke. She started feeling anxious. Where is he? What is he doing? Is he thinking of me too? How are we going to talk when we do not even see each other. Oh, Luke.
They kept missing each other for the rest of the day, every time one of them arrived to the park, to the dinner hall, or to the house, the other had just left moments before. They only saw each other once, Gia was walking up the stairs with Jane, and Luke going down the stairs with Peter and he didn’t even look at her! Gia was heartbroken. This was not a good start at all.
Gia met Anna later after dinner, they took a short stroll to the town centre, sat by a local water fountain, and talked about boys.
“I really like Paul and I miss him so much!” shared Anna.
“I know how that feels! Only the boy I like and miss is right here and he is driving me crazy!”
“Oh, yeah? Who?”
“Really?” Anna looked at her in surprise.
“Yeah, really, um I don’t know what to do. Do you remember when he first started staring at me?”
“I remember, you said he was weird and put your easel down so he couldn’t stare at you!” laughed Anna.
“Yeah that, only he kept doing it, every time I turned around he was there burning holes into me and I made a mistake of looking right into his eyes and something happened to me.” said Gia and shrugged her shoulders.
“That is spooky!”
“Tell me about it! Does he do that to you too?”
“No, I think he likes you Gia!”
“Really?” Gia felt so happy to hear her friend saying this. “If so, then why doesn’t he do something? We just keep staring at each other. And now I just want to talk to him, but I am so shy, I will never be the one to start!”
“Hey, he smokes too, right?”
“Well maybe you will start a conversation by asking for a cigarette or something.”
“Anna! You are genius!” Gia hugged her friend.
25th May 1993
Gia woke up way too early in the morning. She could not thinking of Luke and what Anna said about the smoking. She dreamed up scenarios in her head where Luke would come to her and ask her for a cigarette, and then they would start talking and hanging out. The daydreaming was so blissful, that she just wanted to lay there in complete happiness.
“Hey Gia, GIA!” Jane’s voice brought her back to reality. “Let’s go, you do not want to miss breakfast, do you?”
For a moment Gia looked around confused, then remembered where she actually was and run out after Jane.
After breakfast they all went to the beautiful and expansive public park at the castle’s grounds to sketch. Gia set up her easel next to Jane and the rest of their classmates were dispersed evenly in twos or threes around the park.
She started sketching a bench in the shade with a group of trees in the background, and lost herself totally in the task, only to be disturbed by a bunch of school kids passing by and commenting on her drawing. She was annoyed at the disturbance, but soon forgot about it again.
Suddenly, she overheard a couple of voices coming closer from behind her, and when she turned around, it was HIM! She quickly turned around again, Luke and Peter were walking right passed her, now quiet, but bursting into laughter as soon as they passed.
Why are they laughing? thought Gia slightly confused, but smiled to herself.
Soon the students packed their stuff, went to have some lunch and afterward they had a meeting with the teachers in the park. They arrived late, again! There was a small group of students, mainly form the other class and the teacher took them for a walk. Gia really wasn’t in the mood to go anywhere, without Luke.
They walked for ages through the countryside and it was getting so hot. After some time it was obvious they were walking in the wrong direction and they were not going to catch up with the rest of the group. Gia was really over it by now and was more than glad when they returned back to the house.
They had dinner, but Gia was not hungry, or she was, but she didn’t feel like eating at all. It was around six o’clock and the air was smelling like summer through the open window in the girls’ bedroom. Gia sat down on the windowsill, her favourite spot in the room. “I wish I could talk to Luke.” she said aloud mainly to herself.
“Well, I think your wish might be granted, because just before you came, Luke was here asking for you, and whether you had a lighter or a box of matches!”
“What? Really?” Gia felt like floating, Anna’s prediction came true! She sat on the windowsill with a stupid smile on her face, when suddenly there was a knock on the door and without waiting, Luke literally burst into the room.