Part 1 Pandora’s Box

Sunset Giasuniverse

Gia couldn’t shake an uneasy feeling of displacement. Everything in her parents’ new house was familiar yet it looked different. There was the same dark heavy furniture and a tree piece suite-the silent witnesses of her childhood. She walked over to the kitchen table where all the dreaded talks took place.
Everything was the same except her old bedroom. Gia left it almost five years ago, packing only one small suitcase, and every subsequent visit she took a little more with her.

She didn’t know that the last time she was there would be THE last time. In this house the room she slept in could be anyone’s. It smelled like a new paint and contained only basic light wood furniture. And it wasn’t her room. It was a “guest room”. And that was exactly how Gia felt – like a guest.
It was somewhat unsettling, as if her whole existence was erased…The only evidence of Gia’s past were her large canvass paintings hanging all over the house. How strange…, she thought they weren’t good enough, like her father often reminded her. Anyway what happened to the rest of her possessions?
“Mom, where are you?” she called. Nothing. She poked her head in the hallway. “Mom?”
“Up here.” Mom’s voice carried from above. Gia run up the stairs, and found her mother folding freshly laundered clothes.
“There you are! It is so strange, to be in such a big place, don’t you think?” she smiled at her mother.
“Yes, I am still getting used to it, but I like it.” Mom said and carried on folding. “Is there anything, you wanted?”
“Yes, what did you do with all my stuff? I hope, you didn’t throw it away!”
“Don’t worry, Gia, most of it is stored in the loft.”
“Thank you, Mom, you are the best!” she kissed her mother on the cheek, and went to explore the loft immediately.
Gia climbed up the ladder and stood momentarily at the top squinting her eyes in to the darkness. She felt for a light switch, and a solitary light bulb flickered into life.

The new loft was almost empty apart from a small pile of boxes with Gia’s name on. So that was it, her past all there, or what was left of it. For a moment Gia’s mind went blank. What was in there?

She pulled one box closer and opened it up. There were papers, cards, handwritten notes and other little treasures of her childhood. Memories rushing in. A lot had changed. Gia had changed, or so she thought. She hugged her toy monkey and looked at the tapes of her favorite bands.

Then she involuntarily shivered, when she saw her old teenage journal titled “Everything Possible and Impossible-one’s life journey”.

Oh yeah, impossible that was a fitting word! Most of the writing in the notebook was either about her father making her life a hell, or about HIM-Luke, the guy who made her life a hell.

She put all the other stuff back in the box, and shoved the notebook under her shirt like a secret manuscript. Lights off.

Gia made herself comfortable in a garden chair, and paused momentarily before opening the journal. It had been such a long time. How was Luke? What would he think of her now? Would he be impressed that she moved to England and learnt to speak English? She couldn’t help, but think of Luke, as soon as, she touched her old journal, and also her troublesome relationship with her father…

Winter 1992

 A cage
I am bound and confined,
like a caged bird,
but I don’t, DON’T, DON’T WANT to be here,
with you…
What shall I do? Live or die? Or go?
If I could, I’d go…
No, I won’t give up or give in,
to whom? To what?
Everything and everyone.
Fight! And then what?
Peaceful bliss away from those who hate me…
But for now I am caged and cannot leave,
I’ll wait and bide my time,
till my growth will burst the cage,
and then nothing else will hurt me.

 

A Boy and his tears

Standing there, floppy arms,

willing himself, please don’t cry,

in front of him, bulging  eyes ,

with truth and spiting anger,

Don’t cry, don’t cry,

be strong, and then…

Aren’t you a man?

Screaming at him again,

What are ya looking at,

I’ll deck you, you brat,

action swiftly following that,

Don’t cry, don’t cry,

He didn’t manage that,

he is not a man.

Tear after tear rolling down his cheeks,

crying injustice and self pity.

When will it end? When will they come for him?

I prefer bars and prison supervision,

than all the indifference, anger and repulsion.

But now tear after tear is falling,

his youth spent in the nick,

half of life wasted,

maybe he should have stayed there,

where there was no love,

maybe he wouldn’t now cry like a little boy.

November 19th 1992

Today was quite an interesting day at the school studio, I ended up sitting next to Anna again drawing still life. She is quite cool, we talked about our weekend adventures.

The weirdo was staring at me again today, I wonder what his deal is. I ended up moving my easel, so he could not see me, his constant staring made me feel quite uncomfortable. Anna said, that he doesn’t look at her at all. How strange…How come I haven’t noticed him before? He seems like a loner type, not talking to anybody except Peter.

I hope F. will leave me alone today. Did all my chores.

November 20th 1992

Luke keeps staring at me, it’s weird! He is making me almost paranoid. Something happens to me when I look into his eyes, like I get sucked in or something. Why? Does he like me? Do I like him? No, I definitely don’t fancy him, it’s just his eyes, they are intense brown.

November 23rd 1992

Oh no, I am a total embarrassment! Luke and Peter were hanging out in front of the classroom, and I had to pass them on the way to the bathroom and tripped. They laughed.

Then after we finished classes, I bumped into Luke in front of the school, and he asked me for a lighter. I tripped again, when I was walking towards him, cringe!!!! He just said, “Are you aware of how you are walking?” and we laughed. I am embarrassed, but hey, he finally spoke to me, and he is not that weird, he actually seems quite clever. I have to find out more about him, maybe we can hang out sometimes.

Gia took a sip of her chilled drink; a seed of a feeling started to swell in her chest. Reading her old journal was transporting her back to the past. To the past, she was so desperate to leave behind five years previously. She knew, she should not read any more of her journal. Gia knew better not to open the Pandora’s box. And she wouldn’t! She decided, and slammed the journal shut.

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About giasuniverse

I am compelled to create, I now realize that this is a gift from God, I want to make him happy by sharing it with others. My aim is to bring enjoyment to people, and help in any way I can. I wish to know and do many things. Some of them I do and others I do in my imaginary life. A life long learner, a truth seeker, a philosopher, a dreamer, an adventurer, an artist, and a writer on this wonderful journey called life.

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