Part 1 Pandora’s Box
The new loft was almost empty apart from a small pile of boxes with Gia’s name on. So that was it, her past all there, or what was left of it. For a moment Gia’s mind went blank. What was in there?
She pulled one box closer and opened it up. There were papers, cards, handwritten notes and other little treasures of her childhood. Memories rushing in. A lot had changed. Gia had changed, or so she thought. She hugged her toy monkey and looked at the tapes of her favorite bands.
Then she involuntarily shivered, when she saw her old teenage journal titled “Everything Possible and Impossible-one’s life journey”.
Oh yeah, impossible that was a fitting word! Most of the writing in the notebook was either about her father making her life a hell, or about HIM-Luke, the guy who made her life a hell.
She put all the other stuff back in the box, and shoved the notebook under her shirt like a secret manuscript. Lights off.
Gia made herself comfortable in a garden chair, and paused momentarily before opening the journal. It had been such a long time. How was Luke? What would he think of her now? Would he be impressed that she moved to England and learnt to speak English? She couldn’t help, but think of Luke, as soon as, she touched her old journal, and also her troublesome relationship with her father…
A Boy and his tears
Standing there, floppy arms,
willing himself, please don’t cry,
in front of him, bulging eyes ,
with truth and spiting anger,
Don’t cry, don’t cry,
be strong, and then…
Aren’t you a man?
Screaming at him again,
What are ya looking at,
I’ll deck you, you brat,
action swiftly following that,
Don’t cry, don’t cry,
He didn’t manage that,
he is not a man.
Tear after tear rolling down his cheeks,
crying injustice and self pity.
When will it end? When will they come for him?
I prefer bars and prison supervision,
than all the indifference, anger and repulsion.
But now tear after tear is falling,
his youth spent in the nick,
half of life wasted,
maybe he should have stayed there,
where there was no love,
maybe he wouldn’t now cry like a little boy.
November 19th 1992
Today was quite an interesting day at the school studio, I ended up sitting next to Anna again drawing still life. She is quite cool, we talked about our weekend adventures.
The weirdo was staring at me again today, I wonder what his deal is. I ended up moving my easel, so he could not see me, his constant staring made me feel quite uncomfortable. Anna said, that he doesn’t look at her at all. How strange…How come I haven’t noticed him before? He seems like a loner type, not talking to anybody except Peter.
I hope F. will leave me alone today. Did all my chores.
November 20th 1992
Luke keeps staring at me, it’s weird! He is making me almost paranoid. Something happens to me when I look into his eyes, like I get sucked in or something. Why? Does he like me? Do I like him? No, I definitely don’t fancy him, it’s just his eyes, they are intense brown.
November 23rd 1992
Oh no, I am a total embarrassment! Luke and Peter were hanging out in front of the classroom, and I had to pass them on the way to the bathroom and tripped. They laughed.
Then after we finished classes, I bumped into Luke in front of the school, and he asked me for a lighter. I tripped again, when I was walking towards him, cringe!!!! He just said, “Are you aware of how you are walking?” and we laughed. I am embarrassed, but hey, he finally spoke to me, and he is not that weird, he actually seems quite clever. I have to find out more about him, maybe we can hang out sometimes.
Gia took a sip of her chilled drink; a seed of a feeling started to swell in her chest. Reading her old journal was transporting her back to the past. To the past, she was so desperate to leave behind five years previously. She knew, she should not read any more of her journal. Gia knew better not to open the Pandora’s box. And she wouldn’t! She decided, and slammed the journal shut.